Two Ways To Support A Grieving Friend Who Has To Organize A Funeral
If your bereaved friend has to organize a funeral, here are some ways that you can support him or her.
Go to the funeral home with them and take notes on their behalf
The funeral director your friend hired will probably ask them to come over to their funeral home, in order to discuss the funeral arrangements. It might be good to offer to go to this appointment with your friend and to take notes on their behalf.
The reason for this is as follows; the funeral director will probably need to give your friend a lot of information. They may, for instance, give them a tour of the rooms in the funeral home and describe the features of each one so that your friend can pick the one that will be suitable for the service they want to hold. Additionally, the funeral director may also show them the sample caskets that they have on display in the funeral home, as well as all of the facilities that are available on their premises (such as private chapel, a car park, etc.) They will also discuss matters pertaining to the funeral flowers, the service pamphlets, transportation, and many other things.
If your friend's bereavement has left them in a state of shock or confusion, this might be too much information for them to take in. As such, they might, after this appointment, struggle to recall some important points that the funeral director brought up or to remember some features of the funeral home. By coming with them and taking notes, you can ensure they don't make mistakes as a result of their confusion. For example, you can point out that a particular room in the funeral home that they expressed an interest in booking might be unsuitable for their funeral service because it does not have enough space for the choir who will be singing at the event.
Try to anticipate their needs
Although it might be difficult, you should try to anticipate your friend's needs during this time. The reason for this is as follows; people who are grieving don't always feel able to verbalize their need for support because, for example, it makes them feel weak or because they don't want to bother anyone. By thinking ahead and giving them the help they require without them having to ask for it, you can ease their suffering a little bit.
For instance, if you know that they have ordered flowers that they want to have on display in the funeral home, you could pick these up from the florist for them, take them to the funeral home, and help to arrange them in the room where the service will be held. This would relieve your friend of this time-consuming task, which might require more effort than they are able to put into anything at the moment.