All humans have to face death at some point in life and it is a fact that dying is just a part of living. However, if you walk into just about any funeral home for service of a deceased individual, you will find a room full of people who are feeling rather uncomfortable. Death is just distressing--even when the person who dies may not have been a close relative or friend. This is why there are so many people who find it hard to say the right thing to someone who is mourning the loss of someone close. The fumbling for words can often leave you saying things that come off as inappropriate or insensitive. Here are a five common phrases to avoid.
1. Remember, You Have So Much Left in Your Life
You may feel the need to offer sound advice to remind someone in mourning of everything they have to live for, but this remark will most always come out sounding snide. It is almost like you are discounting their grief and saying, "You need to get over this because you have other things to be happy about...".
2. There is a Reason for This, You Just May Not Know it Yet
This can be one of the most insensitive things you say to someone who is grieving. Regardless of your personal beliefs about destiny, fate, religion, or whatever else, this is not the time to share your opinion about the order of things in life. Anyone who has just lost someone they love, will have a hard time accepting that there is any explanation for causing such pain.
3. You Should Have Expected This to Happen
It does not matter whether the deceased was a chain smoker, gang banger, or race car driver; this is one of the most inappropriate things you can say at a funeral home. This is almost as bad as straight up insulting the person who is in the coffin, and no one can respect talking down about the dead.
4. They Did a Good Job on Making Him/Her Look Natural
The funeral home mortician may have done an incredible job to capture the look of life on the face of the deceased, but bringing up the idea is usually uncalled for at the service. Even if you think this is the most fabulous makeup job you have witnessed, you should keep such comments to yourself. Only offer to agree with what someone in mourning is saying about their loved one's appearance.
5. At Least He/She is In a Better Place
You may feel like this person is moving on to somewhere blissful and happy, but the person who is grieving will only feel that their loved one is not where they should be, which is right here in this life with them. This statement does little to appease what they are feeling and is just unnecessary in tone.
Funeral home etiquette is all about making sure you know how to gingerly approach and speak to the person or people who are in mourning. Avoiding these five statements can get you a long way and help to ensure that you do not walk away from the service looking like an insensitive person who speaks without thinking first. For more information on funeral homes, consider contacting one such as Sturtevant Funeral Home or another.